Education in Reverse

IT HAS been said that education is the art of developing in a child all the faults he has received from nature and adding all those nature failed to give him.

In this same vein a rather facetious author dared the comment, “Providence gave us parents to show us how we ought not act toward our children.”

Someone else even more caustic drew up an infallible recipe for rearing children badly. All he had to do to determine the ingredients was to observe the behavior of certain parents. Could we not put definite names behind a few of the points ourselves. All we must do is observe; examples unfortunately abound:

Here is the infallible recipe:

• Begin from babyhood to give the child everything he asks for.
• Discuss his wonderful qualities in his presence.
• Observe in his presence that it is impossible to correct him.
• Be sure to have father and mother wrangling in his presence and in disagreement about him.
• Let him get the idea that his father is only a tyrant and good for nothing but to chastise him.
• Let the father show little respect for the mother in his presence.
• Pay no attention to his choice of playmates.
• Let him read anything he wants.
• Try to earn much money for him without giving him good principles to live by and let him have money freely.
• Let him have no supervision during recreation.
• Punish him for a mere awkwardness and laugh at his real faults.
• Take his part against teachers at school or in college when they try to make him come to task.

As far as punishment goes for wrongdoing, how many parents prove cowardly and unwise. Consider the mother’s statement, “The only way I can keep my authority is by not exercising it.” What a confession of failure!

Some parents let their children do anything and everything. Others intervene but in what a clumsy fashion:

Perhaps they are profuse in threats. “If you do that, this will happen.” The child does the wrong and “this” does not happen; the punishment threatened remains hanging in the air. The child knowing what to expect is no longer impressed. We must never make a threat we do not intend to carry out when the infraction has been committed!

Then again they may take to bargaining: “If you do that, I will give you this present.” Or they may stoop to argument to force compliance:

“Louis, take your coat.”

“But, Mamma it’s not worth while.”

“Yes it is; take it because it looks threatening. I looked at the barometer and it’s low.”

“But, Mamma, I tell you it won’t rain. . .”

“Thursday, you didn’t have your coat and you were soaked to the skin.”

“Yes, but Sunday you made me wear it and it didn’t rain . . .”

And so it goes on and on. . .

Then parents sometimes permit coaxing to lead them into multiple concessions: A child may be convalescing and wants something to eat which would harm him.

“No, you may not have it.”

“Oh, yes Mamma, give it to me.”

“You know very well the doctor said you should not have it.”

“Only this once, I won’t ask again.”

“Well, just this once since you want it and because you are sick but it will be your own fault if you get worse.”

Who is to be pitied in all these instances? The child whose every whim is satisfied? Or the parents whose inexperience or weakness lead the child to the greatest dangers?

Lack of character in children is often the outgrowth of lack of character in the parents. One can give only what one has.